ILLUMINATIONS Blog

Next week I’ll be off on a trip to Bluff, Utah, where I’ll join with fellow travelers in a rafting trip down the San Juan River.  This is my first adventure in white water rafting and, although the promise is that it will be a pretty mild trip, it’s all new to me. 

In spare moments throughout the past week, I’ve been dropping off in a central location in my bedroom the ”Stuff” that I will bring along.  Insect repellent is a must, clothes for hot days and cooler evenings, toothbrush, toothpaste, hand sanitizer, tent, sleeping bag, ….  But do I need a lightweight camping chair?  I can see where it would be great to have.  On the other hand, I’ll be lugging my dufflebag to each campsite.   I consider with care what “Stuff” I’ll bring, wanting to be sure that I’ll have what I need when I’m far from a 7-11 but also wanting to be sure that I can carry what I bring.

And then it hits me.  What about all the other “Stuff” that I carry along without even thinking about it.  There’s that old story that I’m not athletic and am bound to make a fool of myself on the raft.  There’s a sense of adventure and desire to try something new that may serve me well.  But am I being weighed down by carrying along that self-doubt and ego and fear? 

How much time I’ve spent considering the physical baggage!  How little time I’ve devoted to the emotional baggage that’s just too heavy for my spirit to carry all the way!  So before I go, I’m committing to sift through my old stories and ego needs.  I’m taking out of my bag that ”Stuff” that will slow me down.  I’m committing to adventure by traveling light, informed by this moment.  I’ll let you know how it feels to travel without so much “Stuff” when I return in July.  In the meantime, may you also travel lightly and enjoy the summer! 

Are you being propelled by your values, your best and highest calling?  Or somewhere along the way, did Stress take over the steering wheel.  I’m thinking of that space when you narrow your focus, keep your eyes on the next thing to be done, and move breathlessly full speed ahead, all the time aware that a myriad of other “things” are calling for your attention.  My friend described it to me just this morning.  “I woke up in the middle of the night, heart pounding, feeling almost in a panic, wondering how I was ever going to be able to get everything done.”

I’ve often described this as being on the “hamster wheel.”  We run and run and don’t seem to get any further ahead.  We don’t have a hamster among our variety of household pets but my daughter does have a gerbil.  And Elvis, the gerbil, has a hamster wheel.  As I head to bed at night, I can often hear him in a room down the hall, running and running to nowhere.  And yet Elvis has some instincts that serve him well.  He doesn’t stay on the wheel until he gets sick or drops from exhaustion.  Elvis takes plenty of time to eat and drink and sleep.  And he spends a lot of time burrowing in the soft material in the bottom of his case, appearing snuggled and cozy and calm. 

I wonder if we get off the wheel frequently enough.  Do we take the time for nourishing ourselves?  Do we find a cozy place to get away from the wheel so that when we return, we can run the race without the panic?  And if we took more time away, might it allow us to run the race more fully present to the moment? 

As we move into summer, we could decide to schedule time for real relaxation.  Then when we return to the busy-ness of our lives, we might find that we are more aware, alive and engaged, better runners for having rested.  Happy summer!